past mid-October

So it's October 25(almost 26th) and I just realised I have not been blogging nearly as much as I expected too. I want to say my life has been crazy busy and exciting but the truth is it hasn't I just haven't been blogging, I suck. The other day I wanted to write but I had no idea what to write about...I guess I should have blogged haha, since this entry seems to be about nothing. Oh well, maybe I'll get sometime to write out something this week. I guess that's all haha

where did September go...

If September is gone, does that mean I have a full month of school complete?! And if that's true, what have I learned?!
With no disrespect to my teachers(they truly are great!) I don't feel like I have learned much so far. I knew it was going to be slow going to start off the year but I can't wait for a challenge...that being said my marks should be 100%, but they aren't. I've never really got high marks and it's not something that bothers me that much, not saying my standards are low but I'm usually content to pass(if it's higher so be it, haha).
BUT this blog wasn't to be just about my marks haha. Yes, I realise my summer blog hasn't been completed, I try to do that before long.
School has been good so far, like I said kind of easy.
I'm starting work tomorrow, back at a flower shop. Only working Saturdays...I was kind of excited about the idea but I'm not really looking forward to it anymore. I'm remembering why I left and thinking back to when I decided I never wanted to do it again...it sucks. I'm going to be working alone, which is nothing new to me but I feel like I am not at all prepared. I've been in a few times but I will be all by myself, my very first day. It's not that I don't think I can do it, it's just a fair amount of pressure...oh well. One day at a time.
I guess that's all for now...it's not really but I'm stopping now. haha.

First day of the rest of my life

...well maybe not of the rest of my life. But today marked the first day of the 2009-10 school year and possibly my last school year (I can't say forever, because that is too long).
Before I get too far ahead of myself, I started a blog about my summer but didn't finish it yet...I will eventually.
Since this will be my third year at NBCC Woodstock, I was a member of the orientation crew(again, actually two years in a row haha). It was a long day but the teachers did a great job getting it together. Even though I didn't have to participate in all the activities they still looked fun.
It seems strange to be back without some of my class mates but I have a whole crew of new class mates (who I haven't actually all met yet, I kind of feel bad about that but I have loads of time to make that up). I'm excited to start my classes and I'm even considering running for the vice president or 2nd vice (looks good on a resume, I don't think my course load will be too much and I don't think it's tooo much extra work).
All in all I had a great day and am ready for the rest of the year!! Yay!!

The Dean's List

What started as a tight knit group of about 6(or so of the original 14), flipped and flopped...it seems like September 2007 is sooo far away. We’ve accomplished and grown so much in the past two years...some more than others.
Back then we seemed sooo eager to be journalists, ready to take on 'Captain Spelling' and looking forward to the two years ahead of us...
Fast forward and here we sit in the gym, tassels in hand, wearing our graduation gowns and waiting to receive our diplomas...ready or not it's time for us to go into the world. We have written and closed another chapter in our lives and are ready to start another.
Best of luck to my class mates and the rest of the 2009 class!! xoxo

Some of my memories from our class:
-The Dean's List
-Joey's
-the random dancing in class
-sexual innuendos
-weedle (not even sure where this came from)
-karaoke
-JR's
-the res
-late nights in the TV/Radio lab
-the dances
-the few movie nights we did
-Dooly's
-the pub
-the birthdays
and Woodstock!! (even though I'm going back, it won't be the same without everybody!)

~I wrote most of this before but it wasn't ever published~

June 21, 2009

I'd say it's official...I'm headed back to school in the fall! Today I applied for a student loan for the 2009-2010 school year, can't get much more official than that. Now to figure out what I am going to do after school next year...I guess I have the rest of the summer and the whole school year to figure that one out.

Tomorrow I start my 'real/really part-time' job. Yay money!! haha

decisions...

Yup, I'm still undecided about school and work...well for the most part. I have an idea of what I want to do and how I want it to work out but because of the way the world works what I want and what I get might end up being two completely different things...

One day at a time, but the days have turned into weeks and I am not further ahead...I have 4 days left of my work practicum, then graduation and then what?! ...okay, okay so I have two weeks of work after graduation, but that's only 2 weeks, what after that?! ...I'm perfectly content doing nothing, but that doesn't get the bills paid...

I'll have to worry about this more at another time, it's time for bed...

♥ The Pittsburgh Penguins are the 2009 Stanley Cup Champions!!!

I'm not sure how or what all I want to write... Anyone who knows me, knows I'm a huge Sidney Crosby/hockey fan. Game 7 and the Pens win, was HUGE in my books. I can't begin to describe how proud I was to see Sid raise that cup. I'd love to meet him again, I'm really hoping i get to go down to Cole Harbour when he is there with the cup(or Rimouski, either one isn't THAT far)...

It was a dream come true for me to meet Sid in 2007, and it was a dream come true for him to win the cup. After only 4 short seasons in the NHL, Sid has accomplished a lot and to think from here on out it's just gravy...

...I started this post yesterday(I posted it the day after it says it was actually posted) and it still doesn't really make sense. If you know me at all, you know how I feel/felt about all this, I just thought I should write something down.

ummm

So I thought I wanted to write something, but I don't know what I wanted to say... I'm done 6 weeks of my 8 week practicum, which means 2 weeks until graduation!! I can't wait to see everyone again!! I miss EVERYONE!! and I miss Woodstock!!

My future is still kind of in the air...I know for sure I have 2 full weeks of work for CBC Radio, which I am kind of excited for, yay money!! But after that I don't know what I am going to do...

Today I am getting ready to go to a friend from High School's stagette. Which should be a good time...I feel like I haven't seen these people in ages and yet nothing has changed...that's life I guess.

That's all I have to say I guess...

do i stay or do i go...

Life is funny...I was already to hit the 'work world' again, with my practicum for school. In 8 short weeks I was to graduate. My future was simple. Finish school. Graduate. Find a summer job. Then back to school in the fall, for photography. But like most things the future is unpredictable...I moved back to Fredericton, reluctantly and temporarily, plans of heading back to Woodstock for the summer (so long as I wasn't offered a job for the summer). But the straight and narrow I was on has lead to a fork in the road...
To my left I see another year of school, finish a 3rd year at NBCC Woodstock, with a diploma as a Journalist and a certificate as a Photographer.
But to my right I see a (potentially) cushy job as a Photographer being paid and trained, likely including benefits and decent pay.
There are pros and cons to either path. I feel as if I want to turn and run back to where I came from, but the earth has vanished behind me and I can only stare at the future hoping a sign pops up and tells me just which way to go...
It will all work out, I know it will...it has to! But until it does I'll be lost in thought(nothing new), thinking of all the different options and situations that would and could arise...
I have at least four weeks to make my decision because anything before that will be cutting into my school work (sort of)...what to do, what to do...

playoff update...

Nick if you're reading this, you should probably stop about now because it's going to be a 'rant' about hockey...

I just finished watching two separate videos on tsn.ca (OK it was more than two but there are two that i want to talk about) and both of them showed the 'human side' of the hockey players, which I sometimes find more interesting...sure we know who they are ON the ice, but it's nice to see them off the ice to.

The first one I watched was about the Washington Capitals defenseman Mike Green...actually it was about his dad, Dave Green, who has become a good luck charm (of sorts) for the team. Most recently Dave joined the team while they were in the first round, losing 3 games to 0. They ended up winning that series (winning 4 games straight) and advancing to the second round (where they are currently up 2 game to 0). There was a great bit about the new (or re-established) father/son relationship...Mike even jokingly said that it was nice that he could go out and have a beer with his dad now. This isn't the first time that Dave has brought luck to his son and the team, the story said that when Dave went to a game in February he witnessed his son break an NHL record for defensemen scoring in 8 straight games. The video also said that Dave now is kind of a celebrity in Washington, being recognized by fans that want autographs and pictures...with Dave, not his son (at the games of course, while Mike is on the ice). I thought it was a cute story and made me smile.

The second video that I watched was about a forward for the Chicago Blackhawks, Dustin Byfuglien, is 24 years old and is finally finding his place in the NHL...apparently Dustin (who I admit i had never heard of before) had taken a year off, a few years back, where he gained a bunch of weight and didn't do much (if any) training. When he decided to return he was out of shape but still didn't make great attempts to get back at it. But apparently he had the talent, he just needed the training and the motivation to be all that he could be (or that's how I understood the story). He has found his stride as a hockey player and now has a permanent place with the Blackhawks...they also mentioned that he usually played defense but with his size they moved him to forward and he has been annoying opposing defensemen and goalies ever since!

Now I'm not exactly cheering for the Capitals (in fact I am REALLY hoping the Penguins turn the series around and end up winning) but I really liked the story about Green and his father and like I've said before, I'll officially call myself a fan of him...and his father. As for Byfuglien and the Blackhawks, I'm hoping that they beat the Canucks and advance to the 3rd round.

That's all for now...Nick if you ended up reading the whole thing, don't say I didn't warn you. :P

week 1 is over...

7 weeks to go! ...OK that makes it seem as if I am looking forward to it being over, which I'm not. I just can't believe that the two year course I started only has 7 weeks left! Where did the time go?!?
Any whoo my first week went well...everyone kept saying it was a crazy week and in ways it was. However, I was almost like and outsider looking in. The host was sick for two days, there was a guest that was suppose to call in and was late in doing so and a guest who decided the night before that they didn't want to be on air. Not to mention the local transmitter that didn't work for an hour of the Friday show, but it was only local so we were still on the air through out NB and online...so I guess I couldn't have asked for a better week to start. I got to see all the confusion and hopefully the rest of my weeks are less eventful. :)
The weekend has been very uneventful, which kind of sucks because it's hard to do anything through the week(because of the 7AM start time) that I was looking forward to doing SOMETHING this weekend, but I guess not. Oh well,maybe next weekend...

first day is in the books...

OK so instead of going in for 10 I had an email hoping I would check my email and be there for 11 instead...because the bus system is sooo weird in freddy I was fully prepared to cough up the cab money. I arrived early, of course, I waited for Gary but the first person I met was Kevin, who turns out to be the guy I am going to be shadowing(one of the two people). Then I met Gary and he took me on a tour of the building.

One of the first groups of people I met was the morning show people...it was 11 so they were preparing for tomorrow’s show, I assume. Everyone was very welcoming but this crew included Terry and Angela, whom I’d met before...when Gary introduced me Terry or Angela commented on me being the hockey fan (I had done an interview with Angela trying to help her select players for a hockey pool). Then Terry asked how I was doing in my pool, that was probably the highlight of my day...oh yeah I think it was Angela that said something about my mom always listening to the show.

After that I was left with Kevin and we didn’t do too much, he is done work at 1 and then Cari comes in...she showed me what she regularly does and I was in the sound booth for ‘our 4:15’ Colleen came in and had quick chat with Paul and then we went back for Todd to promo the 6 o’clock news.

I also had a chance to play around on their editing software...I didn’t do much, but will eventually. And I can’t remember what the program is called but it looks pretty simple.

Tomorrow I start at 7, so I am off to sleep.

Van-city Nuckies...

or the Vancouver Canucks as they are more commonly known as...
They are the first team to advance to the 2nd round of the 2009 Stanley Cup Playoffs...now before I go too far I must say that I am not a huge Vancouver fan, however there are the odd guys that I can't help but like. For example (former Leafs' player, yeah I said it) Kyle Wellwood, as ashamed as I am to say, I like him when he was with the Leafs and like him even more as a Canuck. Then there are the guys I don't really know but like what I hear about them like Willie Mitchell, Taylor Pyatt(hopefully he will be back for the 2nd round, RIP Carly.), Kevin Bieksa...and I just found out Micheal Ouellet is on that team. They also have a few players I don't like such as Mats Sundin and believe it or not Roberto Luongo(I am usually a fan of goalies but I have my reasons against Bobby Lu). At any rate I don't know the 'Nuckies that well and that's mostly cuz their games are late late...when they are even on.
...I'm having a hard time writing out exactly what I want to say, I'll just rant and hope it makes sense.
I just finished watching the game tonight and Alex Burrows(another player I don't know well but was a fan of, however I will be more of a fan now) scored the game winner with seconds left in over time. Now I knew his name before the playoffs but forgot that he was one of Luc Bourdon's closet friends. (Luc was a defenseman for the Cunucks and last May died in a motorcycle accident in Northern NB, near his home town). After the game tonight they talked to Burrows about his goal but it wasn't until the intermission of the next game that I was reminded of how much this season means to Alex. They showed a replay of his celebration...he held his stick with one hand in the middle of the shaft and then with the other hand 'pulled' back as if it was a bow and arrow...apparently this was a move that Bourdon use to do after he scored and Burrows also did this after his goals on the memorial night for Bourdon(which Burrows had 2 goals).
I don't want to say I forgot about Luc, because I didn't but moments like that remind me how 'human' these NHLers are...I can't wait to see Burrows in the next round and I'm sure Luc is looking down on him. Good Luck 'Nuckies!!

[I'm not sure if Pyatt has played a game in the playoffs this year(I don't think he has) his fiancee was killed in a car accident in Jamaica on April 3rd. I hope he makes it back for the 2nd round...the whole Vancouver team have had a tough year...]

sitting with the big Macs...

not the McDonald's kind, hahaha. For about a year now(not including the summer) I've been in the 'TV lab'... with the 'big Macs'... large iMac computers that have been great for editing film and such. But today is my last day... over the weekend they will be 'wiped' clean, as if we were never here. They will be taken over by the first years... what a strange ride it's been. I can't believe it's almost over... 8 weeks until graduation...

3AM inspiration...is there such a thing?!

I don't have the answer to that, I just wanted to write...it happens. I don't even know what I want to write about...I should be sleeping, but I'm not...obviously.
School is almost done...well the 'school' part of school. I think I am prepared for my two 4 week practicums...if not I have one week to get prepared(which includes a small move).
Hmm what else can I say at 3AM? ...I guess not much my laptop just informed me it wants to "restart for updates" I think that is a sign to go to sleep...
[yes! another pointless blog about nothing! :) ...who's keeping tally?! lol ]
oh ps happy birthday to my mother!! :)

Sunday nite...

So I only posted once last week...more proof that the last little while of school is not going as planned...things aren't working out right(yet, I'm still hoping for the best). I'm doing the best I can...sure I could do more, but I'm not interested anymore, it's like I want it to be over but I don't want it to be over soo soon...I have 4 days to finish up everything done...so it's time to buckle down and get it done...wish me luck, I know I'll need it.

school work update

So I just realized that I haven't said much about my progress...and well *sigh* it's coming along, slowly but surely...I'm hoping to get my doc done early, which at this point seems do-able. However some of my other work hasn't had much progress...I need to have two articles written for tomorrow, that shouldn't be too bad, once I actually decided to do them. An well the third project for this class is due Monday and welll I've yet to start it, I don't know what to use as a subject but I need to come up with something, fast. I can't take this weekend off if I want to get stuff done, so I am gonna keep plugging away... it will all work out. Back to the grind!

middle child syndrome...

This is may be another though one to swallow but I believe it's true...

Recently I have had some complications in my life, mostly it's in my head(I know I've said it before, but it's true....probably because I have been spending a lot of time alone, you'll get it later). But after a few conversations with a few different friends I've come to the realization that I have "Middle Child Syndrome" which is simple enough, right? As the second born of three children, I am the middle child(wow, genius Em!). I looked into a little more and found that, even though it sounds strange there are actually studies about it. While talking to friends I realised I expect them to know me, but I never really give them a chance. I put up "a wall" as one of them said. And it's true, in a way. But at the same time we 'talk' mostly threw instant messaging where messages get mixed up and you read what is being said how YOU want to, so I don't feel like I am being understood all the time...

Anyway, I found this article which I thought was pretty interesting. There are some points that I feel are pretty bang on and there are others that aren't so much...but apparently I was right with my current career choice...see for yourself. Let me know what you think...agree or disagree...

The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling. Being in the middle a child can feel insecure. The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child. Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things.
Being a middle child would mean they are loners. They really don’t like to latch on to a person in a relationship, therefore they have trouble keeping one due to lack of interest. Not liking to take the limelight for anything, they are not over achievers and just simply work enough work to get by, and typically that goes with school as well as a career. They are however very artistic and creative. If forced to use abilities they will work well, but do not work well under pressure. They often start several projects but rarely keep focused long enough to finish a project. The best career move for a middle child would be along the lines of using their creative. Going into a writing or journalism career, and into a career that they could freely express themselves would be good. Anything that would have hours that are flexible, and projects that frequently changed would be good for a middle born child. Since relationships are not of high importance to a middle child, often times they are alone. However, the best possible match for a middle child would be a last born.

[And for the record, I'm not "emo", per say, I just have a lot of emotions and am trying to figure it all out, trying to find my place and better understand who I am...I hope I didn't hurt any ones feelings by posting this. I just thought it was interesting.]

"motivation such an aggravation"

to quote a blast from my past, Sum 41.

I think the short version of this story is that I don't want the school year to end...I'm struggling to find the motivation to get stuff done, I keep hoping it's just going to work out...which I am sure it will. But I can't find the effort to do it...that being said it's 4 o'clock on a Friday afternoon as I sit in the TV lab alone with my current documentary open...that's not to say that everyone else isn't somewhere else doing their work...I'm just the only one that is here. 

Oh well writing a blog isn't exactly getting work done either...back to the grind.

bonus pic...

The other two pictures were in the playoffs this one was in the regular season, but also against the Timberwolves. It's also from the Bugle-Observer.

you choose...

These are not my pictures...they are taken off the Bugle-Observer website...and both were printed in the paper...they say a picture is worth a thousand words....you decide?

for the record both were saves...see #12 in the second picture, he got the puck out of the crease.

EDIT: you may have to click on the picture to see the whole thing.

another great season ended

On Thursday night I made the trip up to the Miramichi to watch game 7 of the semi final Meek division playoff series. It was a long series and game 1 proved how close and intense the series would be.
Game 1 went into double over time, the OT winner came after a penalty for the Slammers. Many said the winner of game 1 would win the series(which ended up being the case). [4-3 final score].
Game 2 was all Timberwolves as they took a 4-0 lead going into the third period, the Slammers scored one goal but the Twolves scored once more to finish the game 5-1 and to take a 2-0 lead on the series.
Game 3 would be a major turning point for the Slammers they showed up to play and play they did. Curtis Black took over in net for the Slammers and block everything the Twolves threw at him. 7-0 was the final and the Slammers headed home with the momentum.
Game 4 started out well for the Slammers with a power play goal just over 2 minutes in but the Twolves scored 3...but the turning point in this game was on a delayed penalty call. The Twolves shot the puck on our goalie but (from what I heard) it went over the net and wrapped around the boards some how and took a weird bounce, went down the ice and into the empty Twolves net. The Slammers gladly took that goal and didn't look back after that. The final score was 8-5 and the Slammers were back in the series.
Game 5, 6 and 7 all had the same score 3-2...the Twolves took game 5 and ultimately game 7. I knew that at the end it would all depend on which team showed up...I found the Slammers started out strong in the games but didn't show up for the 2nd periods, then they tried to beat them in the 3rd, which was too little too late in the 7th game.
Thanks for another unforgettable season. Best of luck to the 20 year olds, you will be missed.
I can't wait for next season, it will be a long summer but I'll be back in the fall!!

life with lyrics

When I'm not lost in my thoughts, I'm listening to music...more importantly lyrics. It's funny how you can hear a song several times and yet once you stop to actually listen (or read) the lyrics, the whole song changes... or you can be hearing the song again after you hadn't heard it for a long time and it has a whole new meaning.(did that make sense?!)
This has happened to me rather often lately...probably helped by the fact that I have been listening to songs from my high school days. haha But it's also funny how songs I loved 'back then' still have a special place in my heart. And the bands too.
It's interesting...and comforting at the same time...

hump day

So it's Wednesday...another interesting week full of ups and downs. I don't even know where to start and that's probably why I haven't blogged yet this week...

My school work is kind of/sort of/not really getting done...nothing is due RIGHT now, so I am in OK shape. It will all work out and get done...I'm not too concerned, just yet...maybe I should be, but I'm not. 

I don't know what else to write...so I guess that's all for now.

did i miss the boat...

I don't think I got two blogs in this week...it's been another interesting week, a busy week...even though I didn't get much work done. I plan on going into school on Monday and getting stuff done.
I don't know what else to say...

it's Tuesday...

and I haven't blogged yet this week! eeeek! haha
I'm not sure what to write about...I spent a good part of this afternoon listening to old music(circa 1990, I KNOW! I told you it was old, haha). It's funny to hear this these songs again, I remember old emotions and the songs seem to have new meanings, it's strange. Kinda fun though.
Other than that...I dyed my hair yesterday, would be no big deal but I went green. Last year as the Slammers made it to the playoffs I decided I would dye it green and this year I did too. I did it differently this year though. the underneath is green and it's layered so that you can see the green (it's way more noticeable from the back). It's fun.
Speaking of the playoffs...the Slammers are down 0-2 to the Timberwolves and are headed up the mighty Miramichi river tomorrow for game 3...I really hope it goes in our favor, because I am not prepared for this season to be over yet! I will be in the 'chi with the guys tomorrow, heading up with the team do set up the webcast, for all the folks left in the 'stock. Hopefully the boys don't disappoint!!
I guess that's all for now. haha

filming has started...

one interview down, a few more to go. so far so good...but i know deep down it's not going to turn out the way i want it to be(not sure i am 100% ok with that, but there isn't much i can do). it sucks to have expectations that won't be met...but it also sucks when your original ideas get shot down...oh well i'll work away and get it done. it's the best i can do. more filming to do tomorrow...

prisoner of my own mind...

[some of this was posted before(briefly),other stuff is new.]

I have so much on my mind, but I have no idea where to start and I’m not even sure I want to share it...I want to say it’s pretty insignificant but if it is then why can’t I let it go?!

Everything happens for a reason, right? Why is it then, that I find myself going from bad times to super happy and content times to pissed off and upset in about 20 minutes...

Like I’ve said before I want so much to spill my every thought but at the same time I feel it will leave me too vulnerable. I’m likely going to keep the details to myself...I feel I have to do that, because A-I can't find the perfect words to explain how I feel, B-I know that if I did find the words someone would be hurt by them and C-No one else will understand it cuz it seems no one truly knows me...

Lately I find that just when I find myself smiling and actually having a good time, someone or something happens and I get snapped back to reality...or if I am mad or pissed off the person I turn to is happy and ecstatic forcing me to suppress my feelings...

I don’t want to smile all the time, and I am not going to. I don't HAVE to be happy and sometimes I just don't want to be happy! I'll have my grumpy moments or days that turn into weeks, I wish people would just accept it. Because I am not prepared to talk and you wouldn’t understand (I know you wouldn’t).

I am fine with that (or I’ll pretend to be) because I know that in the end, I am exactly who I want to be. You try to make me change but that’s just pushing me away for you, you don’t even see it and it's your own fault.

I'm tired of hiding my feelings...but at the same time I can't share them.I'm surrounded by people but feel so alone...
I wonder if and when it will get easier...

-------------------------------
I’m not sure if we are suppose to have two blogs done this week too, but in case you missed the obvious memo there is a lot on my mind, so I am probably going to write anyway.

Also I am filming my documentary this week...I want to say it’s going to be emotional, but I know it won’t affect anyone like it effects me... I have all these ideas and plans but I know there is a snowball’s chance in hell that it will work out the way I want. So the ideas and plans that once were are out the window, I feel like I am jumping in feet first...

Live your life

So I know I opened my blog for a reason, but forgot what I wanted to write about... My heart and my head are filled with sooo much these days, I guess it's fitting that I don't know where to start or what I am doing....

The world is a mixed up mess, where the highs are high and the lows are, well rock bottom...there is no happy medium...at least I haven't found it yet...but I am not giving up here. 

Because I am doing 17 zillion things on the internet while  am writing this, cuz that's what I do...

I just stumbled upon a music video and I've heard the song several times before, but this might have been the first time I actually listened to the lyrics...

The song is Live Your Life by T.I. and before the song starts he says this:

What you need to do is be thankful for the life that you got.
You know what I'm sayin'.
Stop lookin' at what you ain't got
and start bein' thankful for what you do got.
Let's give it to 'em baby girl.

Disarray by Lifehouse

I've faced my demons
Wrestling these angels to the ground
And all that I could find
Was a thin line between
All the saints and villains
It was crossed in my own minds

Someday I'm gonna find it
Wish I knew what I was looking for
Inside the disarray (inside the disarray)
I woke up this morning
Don’t know where I’m going
But it’s alright I wouldn't have it any other way

Struggling between the facts and fiction
I’m alone
But I'm alive
Everyone around me is trying to make a statement, then there's me
I’m just trying to survive

Someday I'm gonna find it
Wish I knew what I was looking for
Inside the disarray (inside the disarray)
I woke up this morning
Don’t know where I’m going
But it’s alright I wouldn't have it any other way
If this was any other day
I pretend to know where I stand
I Just don’t know (just don’t know)
I Just don’t know

Someday I'm gonna find it
Wish I knew what I was looking for
Inside the disarray (inside the disarray)
I woke up this morning
Don’t know where I’m going
But it’s alright I wouldn't have it any other way
Someday I will find it
Wish I knew what I was looking for
Inside the disarray (inside the disarray)
I woke up this morning
Don’t know where I’m going
But it’s alright

I'm standing here until you make me move...

The title is from the song "Hanging by a moment" by Lifehouse. That song and that band helped me get through the last few days...like I said in the note I posted on facebook, with the lyrics to that song. [I'm not sure if I am relating to this song, because I just heard it again for the first time in a while or if it's because it reminds me of a trip I took in grade 11. At any rate the lyrics are great and I've fallen in love with it again. But not just this song all the Lifehouse songs, they're wonderfully crafted. And Jason Wade has a very comforting voice...] Oh and I think the best way to enjoy their songs is with head phones(actually it's the best way to listen to most songs).
I guess music makes me happy too...but I already knew that.
Oh the point of the lyric as the title was that I spent the better point of the day at the school again(9:45AM until 6:50PM-ish). So in real life, standing was actually sitting and I made myself stay until it was done... But I got my documentary done and let me tell you when I left that class room this evening it was as if a huge weight was instantly lifted off my shoulders. My world turned around(for the better). Not only that but I went to the Slammers game, I was running the music(paying job!), I got there just in time(out of the school by 6:50 at the rink by 7:20, had time to eat and chill for a few mins, not bad turn over).
The guys were happy that I showed up, even if i was a tad late. As you can imagine I was just happy to be at the rink, but was that much more happy when the guys skated out on the ice and leading the team was my fave goalie. Not only had it felt like forever since the last game but it also felt like I had seen him in forever and a day. It was as if the last two days didn't even happen, it's true that the outside world doesn't even matter when you are in the rink. The Slammers got the first goal but ended up losing the lead in the third only to score at 16:17 to tie the game at 3, forcing overtime. Which seemed to end just as fast as it started with the game still tied. Forcing the shoot out, I think this was only the second time we have seen a shootout at home, this season. I knew that 'my' goalie was 2-0 in the shootout, so I figured we would have a good shot(no pun intended). The first two shooters for the Timberwolves and our first shooter, didn't score. But our second shooter scored which ended up being the game winner(4-3 was the final). It was a great game! And a great way to end my week...
The World Pond Hockey Championship is going on 'just up the road' in Plaster Rock...I had kind of hoped to make it this year, but it doesn't look too good. At this point, I'd almost rather travel to Miramichi and see the Slammers play tomorrow, but I know that won't happen...so I am going to sleep until lunch(or later) and enjoy Hockey Day In Canada from the comforts of my room. :D
I've unfortunately got a few things to work on for school...but they can wait, I need a day off and that I shall get! Sleep will happen now...good day!

you might be crazy when...

you 14 hours and 45 minutes in front of a iMac (give or take a few breaks)!!

That's a full day I will never get back, and for what?! I am still not done my documentary. It kind of makes me sad, because I was really hoping to get it done today, even though we were given another day to finish it. Did the extra day help or hinder?! I think it 'hindered' me, even though I kept telling myself to get it done, in the back of my mind was the "you have tomorrow too".

At any rate, I am on the verge of crashing and will need every moment of sleep I can get as I plan to head to school in the morning.

Best wishes to my fellow documentary producers! Zzzzz

Happy thoughts :)

So I'm kind of in a crappy mood but instead of ranting, I want to write about something that makes me happy (OK, yes, I'll tell you now it's mostly about hockey...).

I was trying to think of something that made me happy recently and it happened at the rink of course. On Friday night I went to the Woodstock High School boys hockey game. I had nothing else to do and it was cheap entertainment. A friend of mine is the Assistant Coach, so on Friday afternoon I check with him to see what time the game was at, I told him I would probably be up to see the game and take a few pictures. He warned me that the score likely wouldn't be in their favor, I told him that was fine as long as they were having fun out there. He then said he couldn't have said it better himself. I then ran off to school to finish up a few things, so I could have the weekend off. While I was at school, that same friend texted me and asked if I could show up early and get a few pics for him(his brother plays net for the team and there is a set of twins on the team that this is their last season as they are graduating this year). I agreed to show up early(I had not plans, right?).
Before I left the school, around 5, I had a short conversation with another friend about coaching. I informed him that if I was to coach I would want to coach Timbits Hockey(if you aren't familiar with Timbits Hockey, it's for new hockey players, I think they are about 4 or 5. And the point is to get them out there skating and having FUN). Honestly what could be better than helping out little kids while they are learning to skate, there isn't the extra pressure or winning or scoring goals they are just out there having fun. When I was telling my father this, he told me that he had had a very similar conversation and said he would like to coach Timbits too. (Honestly who wouldn't?!)
Any who I left the school and headed to the rink. I arrived early, caught some of the warm up and got the pics I had been asked to. Then I got set to watch the game, 23 seconds into the game Leo Hayes High School scored and I was reminded of my earlier conversation...no worries I thought the game is just starting. LHHS scored a few more and WHS switched goalies and switched back. The score was 8-0 after the first but instead of quitting there the Thunder(WHS) came back on the ice for the second the 2nd goalie was back in at this point. The scoring continued and WHS even scored one, I think it was 10-1(or 11-1) after the second. I looked it up and I believe WHS have only won one game this year and most of the other games were blow outs (a few being 12-0). But none the less the boys were still out there, not only representing their school/team but also themselves. The game ended 14-1 but with a few minutes left I saw some of the players come back and smile/joke with their goalie. At the buzzer a handful of guys even came back and hugs/high fived their goalies. I snapped a few pics and you can even see smiles on their faces. They shook hands, as I assume is always done after a high school hockey game.
Why is this such a big deal? And why did I bother writing this?
Because despite being down(and out) these boys didn't give up, they didn't quit when the game was hopeless. They played the full 60 minutes, they didn't fight or get chippy. And they did it with smiles on their faces. I was also proud of the coaches who still stood behind the team on the bench and the fans in the stands(mostly parents I assumed) who were there for the boys.
I realized that this game is more than winning, it's more that scoring goals. Sometimes it's just fun to play, no matter how your team is doing. And knowing that there are players and teams out there who are losing and still having fun, well I will cheer for them till the end! (I'll even likely be smiling along with them.)

The Thunder did make it to the playoffs(it's either to fight for last place or just because there aren't many teams in their division). Their first playoff game is Wednesday(tomorrow) against Carleton North, it's an away game so I won't make it(that and my doc is due Thursday...) but I wish the boys nothing but the best. And I hope however well they do or don't do, they keep smiling!!

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Side note: I am not apologising for this post, I know it's long and probably boring to most, I just wanted to write it. :)

Lazy Sunday...

Yes! I'm going to have both blogs done before Monday morning! haha I've a busy week ahead of me, so this should help me. But it wasn't my initial plan, I just feel like writing.

Last night marked the end of the Slammers winning streak which was at 12 games...I've got all kinda of questions surrounding the game and the team, however, I sincerely doubt they will be answered. Ever. I don't understand why you play one goalie Friday night, he gets a shutout and then you turn around and start the other goalie the next night?! I guess that's my main question. And it's not even that I like one goalie more than the other, I won't hide that. But why wouldn't you start your goalie that just had the shutout? I'm not the coach and I don't know what goes on with the team, I wish that was answered though, but I'm sure I won't ever get the answer. I also realize that the goalie that started in the loss last night is probably our 'starter' and will play in the playoffs and I can't do anything about it. Sometimes it's hard being a fan. The other thing is we lost to Amherst...the last two times we faced them was at home(during the streak) and we beat them both times(the first time 5-2 and the second time 5-3) so how do we lose to them 4-1 in their barn?! I knew they would have to lose eventually I'm just disappointed in how it happened. Don't get me wrong they haven't lost me as a fan, I don't think they ever could.
The 12 game winning streak brings me to another point, how good(or bad) is a league that has (at least) two teams that have 12 game winning streaks? (the Timberwolves also did it in the fall, and I'm really not sure if any one else did it.) It's not because either team is THAT great and it's not that the other teams are bad. Twelve wins in a row is a pretty big feat, no matter the league. I just think it's pretty crazy.

Oh well! Another weekend in the books, though I didn't get any school work done(I did think of a few things and I did write blogs, so I guess I kind of did do some). It's funny how I want everything to be done and yet I hardly make an attempt, haha. Hence the busy week ahead. My first documentary and my proposal for my second doc are due Thursday. It's going to be a lot of work, but it will get done and hopefully there won't be too many bumps along the way. Hopefully I am in bed early tonight and I'll be all set to take on the week!

it's just another saturday...

I don't want to go into the gory details about my week, just that things have happened that have opened my eyes...I've known for awhile but it has become more apparent this week. Not everyone is what they seem. Plain and simple. I don't want to say anything more than that, it's just a crazy world we live in.

I also can't help but think about how my life has changed since last year at this time. Which brings me back to the 'people changing'. I know I've changed, I like to think for the better, if anything I've grown up...I wish other people would.
I know it makes no sense, but if you know me you know what I'm talking about...

On the flip side, school is going well. I've got a great start on my script for my doc, I just have to get a few more shots...I think I am going to use my voice to narrate it. I've kind of planned on using it all along, but thought I might get someone else. However it's nearly crunch time and since I have the deadline and it's my doc then I think it's best if I do it myself.

For my Internet Journalism course, I have kinda forced myself to change my idea for my second assignment. I realized that my initial plan would be foiled to due lack of help by my potential subject. But it works out better for the third assignment any how. So now I am looking for an event for the second assignment. But I am not too concerned(you understand Theresa).

I guess I might as well address the 'elephant in the room' so to speak...It's valentine's day! Yay...not! haha It's just another day, why do we honestly have these 'special' holidays(if you have heard my rant about Christmas you'd understand). Why and since when do we need a specific day to celebrate love, and why just one day?!? Shouldn't we be celebrating it all the time? I just don't get it... (I know what you're thinking, "blah blah blah" says the single girl. But seriously, think about it)

What else can I go on about(haha)...nothing I suppose. It's 6:30AM and I haven't slept yet(don't ask), so I suppose I should.
[EDIT: Apparently it puts the time I started writing the blog...who knew?!]

Happy New Year all!!! (or something like that, haha)

pushing the limit...as always

Another week nearly done...another week closer to graduation.
I can't get over the fact that in a few short months I will be a college graduate...for the second time. And I'm still not sure what I want to do with my life.

...I just realized it's officially Friday the 13th. It's not a big deal, I'm just a bit superstitious.

Wow. Another pointless blog...I'm sorry.

blogging when I should working...

So I got myself to the school by around 3 this afternoon, mostly cuz I was sick of being in my room (not that being at school staring at the Macs is any better) and I know that I have to crack down and get this *bleepin'* doc done. But I really don't want to make this doc anymore and I although I was pretty excited about my 2nd doc, those hopes have kind of fizzled out as well and I find my thoughts else where...where else would they be but on hockey, of course.

The Slammers are currently on an 11 game winning streak, however they are 13-2 since the Christmas break. They have claimed a playoff spot and are fighting for the home ice advantage. I can honestly say I have been cheering for them all year, through the ups and the downs. When they weren't 'clicking' at the beginning of the season to the last minute trades. But I haven't been this proud since, well since maybe last season's playoff run...

I know the season isn't over yet, the boys have 6 more games ahead of them, including two away games this weekend(Friday night in  Resitgouche and than in Amherst the very next night). It should be a tough weekend but I have faith in them to pull through a couple more wins before next weekend's (Feb 20 and 21st) home and home against Miramichi (away the 20th and home the 21st). Then the boys will be home to end the regular season against Summerside on the 27th and Restigouche on the 28th. There isn't a better time than right now to be a hockey fan in Woodstock! 

Well I must of done enough procrastination for now...

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I already had this published (yay! I'm procrastinating again!!) I just realized I haven't mentioned my next project for Internet Journalism...well I am still waiting for a subject, I have the idea and everything all figured out I just need to find someone who is will to cooperate, and there is the problem. Grrr! Any who I guess that is really all for now...back to the grind.

It's Thursday night...

or Friday morning...
At any rate I need to have another blog written by noon, so here it is...

I've had an interesting week, full of ups and downs (not that I would expect any less from life), including my 25th birthday. I'm not going to complain about my age, cuz I can't change it and I don't think that I want too. It's strange because I really don't feel 25 and I feel like I've missed a few years somewhere...I don't know how to explain it.

School's well school...my documentary that was suppose to be due next Thursday got pushed back until the following Thursday. Which is great! Because as prepared as I thought I was, I realize that I am not very prepared at all! However it will get done...hopefully early. I'm looking forward to my second doc...I'm a little worried about the story but I think it should be fine.

Hockey wise, the Slammers are currently on a winning streak. 9 in a row! I'm pretty happy about that and they have two games this weekend. As you all know I pretty much live for their games so I can't wait! On a side note I am going to be paid to take in the games this weekend, so that it a huge bonus! (I'll be running the music, and as such will be paid.)

I think that's about all I feel like writing about here, for now....

A quarter of a century...

Twenty five years ago today I was born...

I'm not sure what else I wanted to say, just that. 

I guess I thought things would change as I start my 25th year, but so far nothing has happened(probably for the best)... 

School is going well, nothing much to report there, everything that is due, is done.

the weather outside is frightful?!

Yes, it's snowing out! Yes, I love it! ...OK I didn't have to go out tonight I just admired it from my cozy room. But I wasn't just looking out the window... it's not everyday I can say this but I have made great progress with my school work (great might be too big of a word).
~re-edited stories*DONE
~pictures and first project for Internet Journalism*DONE
There hasn't been anything else for me to do for my documentary just yet, but that is still moving along swimmingly.
I mentioned my idea for my second project to my potential subject, he did not confirm nor deny. So I am going to have to think of a way to ask him again and make it sound simple.
And I still haven't done anything about my second documentary, though it is still on my mind.
PS-I am hoping for a snow day tomorrow (with my project done I will be able to sleep in).

can't complain...even if i want to

So it's week..ahh who am I kidding, I don't care what week it is. Time is flying by and deadlines are fast approaching and even passing me by :S ...today I had to have my 'portfolio for TV news' done, it was due at 10:30, I had it done at around 11 or shortly after. But I took comfort in knowing I wasn't the only one(the one on ones got pushed back until Thursday, but yay! it's already done).
The next deadline I have is to re-edit my stories for The Connection, that shouldn't take me long. I just have to 'get 'er done'.
And finally my first 'major' project for this course, a multi-media project due for 'this' class. It's due Friday and after some conflicting schedules and mixed messages, I should have all the pictures taken by noon tomorrow and start(with the potential to finish) tomorrow after school. I have collected all the audio I need so it will just be a matter of laying it all done...I'm kind of excited to make this, it should be fun.
Also I on my plate is the first documentary...I was away this weekend and finished up the principal photography (haha I just wanted to use that word :P). I feel good about it so far, because I have a good start on it.
On top of the work I actually have to get done, I'm thinking ahead to upcoming projects such as my next documentary, I think I have a good idea as to what I want to do. I think I'll have to work out a few kinks before I can nail down the proposal. But it should be fine. And of course there is the next project for this class. I've got an idea for it too, I just have to talk to a few people and see if it can be arranged...
So that's where I am at...wow I could almost keep this post as a reference and check back to see how I've progressed lol

Procrastinators unite!! ahh maybe tomorrow...

or maybe today! I guess that doesn't really make sense, OK it doesn't make sense at all!!

The point of this post is to say that I have officially started my documentary!!!! Thus I am not procrastinating...or at least not right now :D ...now how 'bout that internet journalism project...

Yes, I realize this is a pretty insignificant post, but I just thought I should share it. :D

week 3?!?

Wow! It's hard to believe that week 3 is about to get underway. It's been a cold(that's a bit of an understatement) few days, however, tonight I am not at the rink. I've been to one rink or another for the past 4 nights to watch some sort of hockey. Don't get me wrong I was suppose to be at a game tonight and I would be lying if I said I was super stoked for the game. Earlier I wasn't sure if I wanted to go to the game or not. I finally decide that I did, only to find out it was cancelled, what are the odds. I actually kind of needed this game to happen tonight(not just for me), I'm suppose to write about the NBCC hockey team for the school paper. The articles are suppose to be written but Tuesday, the next game is Wednesday, which will work out because it's winter carnival week and our first paper so we pushed the date back a bit. However, it doesn't help the procrastinator in me, the article will be due Thursday... oh well! Not much I can do about it.
Other than that the week looks not too bad...let's see how it pans out.

end of week 2

So I'm pushing the deadline(2 blogs before Friday...)
However the week I was soooo worried about, turned out not so bad. I got a decent start on my multimedia project, I'm going to take the pictures Monday if all goes well. And my documentary proposal that I stressed over for days was approved, I was so afraid that it would be declined and I would be stressing for another idea.

ready for week two...

OK, I'm not really but love it or hate it class starts at 9AM and I will be there. I hope this week happens without too much drama or stress...
The week hasn't even started yet and I am already looking forward to Friday...this is not good.

Week 1: Day 4

Well where do I start this one...

I  woke up to a snowy, hoping for a snow day...the term is still young so there isn't much school work to do yet. So I was hoping for a snow day...I'm not used to these early classes(actually I am not used to having to be IN class, haha). I suppose it's a good thing for me to be up early and potentially get stuff done...I was all set to write out some long rant but it turns out I had to do a bit of school work this morning so no I am pretty much just writing for writing haha.

In hockey news...Canada won the gold on Monday making that 5 golds in 5 year. Next year's tournament is in Saskatoon and Regina and right now I am wondering what my odds are of attending it...

The NBCC Navigators(college hockey team) are 3 and 0 after the Christmas break. The last 3 games have had 17+ players and at least 5 fans(it sounds sad but considering the other team has none and I think the guys like having us there). 

I guess that's all for today...or right now. haha

hockey, hockey, hockey

This is the third blog that I have and this is the first one that isn't all about hockey. However, hockey is a huge part of my life (some people might say huge is an understatement, it probably is). Even though this blog is suppose to be more about my journey with journalism, I think it's important to discuss a few things that are going on in the News (more specifically the hockey world).

There are two things I wanted to talk about...the first being a huge story in Canada (I want to say whether you follow the sport or not, but I am not sure about that one). Every year, just after Christmas there is a hockey tournament that involves the world, known as the World Junior Championship. This year it is being played in the Nation's Capital (Ottawa for those who weren't sure). This year, (tonight actually) Canada is playing for the Gold medal, once again. They will face Sweden for the second year in a row and will be hoping to bring home (or celebrate in the Nation's capital) the fifth(yes, 5!) Gold medal in a row. I as well as numerous hockey fans across the country and just getting ready to watch this game, it should be a good one! One for the books, that for sure!

The other hockey story that is on my mind is a sadder story, even though it won't make every front page, it's still something I think about and hate to hear that it has happened. The hockey world has lost another relatively young hockey player. Don Sanderson, was just 21 years old and a rookie defenceman with the Whitby Dunlops of the Ontario Hockey Association. And on December 12th, 2008 he hit his head on the ice during a fight, his helmet had come off during the fight. After he hit his head her was out cold for about 30 seconds before he 'briefly regained consciousness' but eventually fell into a coma. He went had brain surgery and was moved to life support until his death last Friday.

Sanderson is one of the players I might never have had the chance to see play, but it shocks me none the less to hear these stories. My heart goes out to his family, may he rest in peace. <3

First Post...

Unlike the Last Post, this is my very first post of my newly created blog! :)

This is a blog that I was 'forced' to create for school....forced is a strong word and probably the wrong word. This is class project, in which I have to write a couple of blogs a week about the trials and tribulations of a Journalism student at NBCC. It will be filled with ups, downs, struggles and everything that is 'newsy' in my life!

I am very much looking forward to this blog and hope that I don't rant toooo much as I tend to do.